The vibrations echoed off the golden plaques and geometric shapes while the buzz of old steel strings danced through the halls. My eyes dripped with the beauty of it all. We listened with our whole bodies. As the music moved through us, our grips tightened.
Tell my love to wreck it all
cut out all the ropes and let me fall
“Tell my love to wreck it all” he said, “cut out all the ropes and let me fall.” It was my favorite song. It was as if I knew the love had gone sour before it had begun to turn. That’s the thing about love, I think you always know when it has a time stamp.
Justin Vernon once explained what skinny love was to him. He said there are certain times where you’re in a relationship because you need help, but that’s not necessarily why you should be in a relationship. And that’s skinny. It doesn’t have weight. Skinny love doesn’t have a chance because it’s not nourished.
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split.
“Sullen load is full slow on the split.” So why is so hard to leave? Why does it take so long? Your load is full and your heart is sullen yet you linger. You spend just another night in their bed. You spend just another day bleeding out the little sanity you have left. Maybe we don’t leave because we know that when we finally do, we will be in free fall. When tied so tightly to something, bound so close the fault lines have dissappeared, pulling away can be unfathomable. In a way, you’ve lost any sense of grounding. Your reality doesn’t extend past the existence of an “us.” Once you finally cut loose, you are in a constant free fall. There is no-one and nothing to catch you.
The only way to stop falling is to learn to fly.
So once you’ve gathered the gumption to get up and go, you’re still not done. I mean here you are, tired, broken and falling faster and faster each day. And now you have to learn to fly? It doesn’t seem fair and it definitely doesn’t seem possible. So how does one learn to fly while watching rock bottom race upwards?
Did you know a sugar maple tree will turn its leaf over when its about to rain? It is like they’re exposing their weakest part to the storm, welcoming the rain. As people, we tend to do the opposite. As the rain comes, we button our coats, roll up the windows and close the shutters. You’d have to be mad to walk outside in a rainstorm. We’re scared it will make our make up run, flatten our hair, and dampen our clothes. The rain washes away all the masks we wear. It exposes whats underneath and it makes us vulnerable.
Rain is uncomfortable, yes. It can be cold and make us feel heavy but sometimes you have to be like the leaves of a sugar maple. Turn over and breathe in all the uncomfortable, drowning madness.
After all, how can you fly with all those layers weighing you down? I, for one, love the rain.